Guess who’s got two thumbs and never expected when he filled out that application to test Google’s new Cr-48 laptop as part of their pilot program that he would actually get one? This guy!
I’ve got to share the text from the card that was included in the box.
Read this paper. Then recycle it.
Or make it into a super cool paper airplane that you can give to your nephew.
(This is the usual yada yada … just more fun)
[figure showing components of laptop]
This product contains sensitive components. Do not drop, disassemble, open, crush, bend, bake, deform, puncture, blend (guess we’ll never know if it’ll blend), shred, incinerate, paint, bring to the moon, or insert foreign objects into the device. Do not spill liquids, rocks of any size, or food on the device, Do not expose the device to water, moisture, or rap music.
This product contains small parts, which may present a choking hazard to small children, as well as men who have not emotionally matured. Keep the device and accessories away from small children, regardless of how much they want to bang on the keyboard.
When you perform repetitive activities such as typing or playing games on the device, you may experience occasional discomfort in your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, or other parts of your body. Take frequent breaks and if you have discomfort during or after use, stop use and see a physician. We’d make jokes here, but we really want you to look after yourselves.
This product does not contain any user-servicable parts. Repairs should only be made by an authorized technician. Note that authorized technicians do not necessarily include your neighborhood 15 year old brainiac that you call anytime you get an antivirus pop-up on your computer (note: you shouldn’t see antivirus pop-ups on this device anyway). As cool as laptop ground effects are, unauthorized repairs or modifications could result in permanent damage to the equipment, and void your warranty and your authority to operate this device under applicable regulations.
Battery: This device includes a lithium-ion battery, as that whole cold fusion thing hasn’t been figured out yet. There is a risk of explosion, fire and burns if the battery is handled improperly. Don’t do anything silly with the battery. Don’t puncture, incinerate, short the contacts, try to disassemble the battery, or expose the battery to water or high temperatures (>60 degrees C/140 degrees F). We already said not to bake the device, but apparently we need to repeat ourselves. Replace only with the specified replacement battery. Recycle or dispose of used batteries according to local regulations.
[figure: "Install the battery"]
[figure: "Attach the power cable"]
Install the battery as indicated in the figure (I drew it myself – I think I’m going into art after being a copy editor). Then connect the power cable as indicated. The battery is not fully charged, but, like most things in life, with some work you can change that. So please please connect the power cable and fully charge the battery before using the device for the first time. The power indicator will be orange until the battery is fully charged. It’s tricky like that.
Display: When opening or closing the display panel, place one hand on the palm rest to hold the device in place and use the other hand to slowly open or close the display panel. You can try opening the display panel with one hand, but that goes into extreme display opening and may be frowned upon by someone special in your life. You can turn on the power by pressing the button indicated in the figure, or just by opening the display panel. That’s right – we removed one step between you and the Internet. Shock. And. Awe. Do not use excessive force when opening or closing the display panel, or we may ask you to take an anger management class. Be careful not to open the display panel too far as this could put stress (physical and emotional) on the display panel’s hinges and cause damage.
[figure: "Open the display"]
[figure: "Turn on power"]
This device complies with part 15 of the FCC Rules. Don’t worry, we’ll wait for you to get your FCC rulebook out. … Operation is subject to the following two conditions: (1) this device may not cause harmful interference, and (2) this device must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired operation. This equipment has been tested and found to comply with the limits for a Class B digital device, pursuant to part 15 of the FCC Rules. (You didn’t put the rulebook away, did you?) These limits are designed to provide reasonable protection against harmful interference in a residential installation. This equipment generates, uses, and can radiate radio frequency energy and may cause harmful interference to radio communications if not installed and use din accordance with the instructions. If this equipment does cause harmful interference to radio or television reception, which can be determined by turning the equipment off and on (it’s a complicated procedure, we know), the user is encouraged to try to correct the interference by one of the following measures:
A) Reorient or relocate the receiving antenna.
B) Increase the separation between the equipment and the receiver.
C) Connect the equipment to an outlet on a circuit different from the receiver.
D) Consult the dealer or an experienced radio/TV technician for help.
E) All of the above
Okay, so many props to the writer(s) and editor(s) of that.
Now, enough typing, I’m going to play with my new toy.