Guess and Check



Filed under: General — 1:59 pm

My Mom just came up to me to show me a letter that came in the mail today. It was sealed in a plastic United States Postal Service bag that went like this:

{A United States Postal Service (TM) logo is at the top, below which is a large “WE CARE” printed in large bold letters. This is followed by:}

Dear Postal Customer:

We sincerely regret the damage to your mail by handling by the Postal Service. We hope this incident did not inconvenience you. We realize that your mail is important to you and that you have every right to expect it to be delivered in good condition.

Although every effort is made to prevent damage to the mail, occasionally this will occur because of the great volume handled and the rapid processing methods which must be employed to assure the most expeditious distribution possible.

We hope you understand. We assure you that we are constantly striving to improve our processing methods in order that even a rare occurrence may be eliminated.

Please accept our apologies.


Your Postmaster

However, what interested me was a note that was included on the inside of the bag, separate from the letter that was damaged:

{Again, a United State Postal Service (TM) logo is at the top.}


Dear Postal Patron,

On Friday morning 7/23/04, the collection box which you had dropped your mail into had been vandalized by fire.

We have recovered as much mail as possible so that we may be able to deliver or return it to the proper recipient.

The powdery substance you may see is from the fire extinguisher used to put out the fire, and you should not be worried about any threat of contamination or desease [sic].

Is is regretful that individuals perform these acts of vandalizm [sic], and unfortunetly [sic] is beyond our control.

The Postal Inspection Service has been notified, and will hopefully be able to bring some light to this issue.

I appologize [sic] for any inconvenience this may have caused you, and hope that this type of incident will not occur again in the future.

Mark Cristi
Supervisor Customer Services

Holy spell check, Batman.

Anyway, the letter did smell like smoke and ammonium phosphate. It must have been an exciting day at the post office.

One Response to “[thus]”

  1. Stu Says:

    I suppose I shouldn’t have targeted that mailbox. Can’t win em all, I always say.

    Actually, that is too bad. Hopefully, things work out for you regarding the damaged mail. How many times can you honestly say, “the check was in the mail, I swear. It’s not my fault the box caught on fire.”

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